My truth about Perimenopause

Perimenopause: the theme park you never signed up for but somehow have a season pass to. The main attractions? Mood swings, sleepless nights, hot flashes, weight gain; that delightful addition, the “estrogen belly.”

I was a sleeper! 8 hours a night straight through at minimum. I would laugh in the face of even the suggestion of losing sleep as a symptom of perimenopause. In the same breath I was told that mood swings were part of the extensive list of symptoms as well. Regrettably I have to admit that both are true. Although I wouldn’t chalk the latter up as “mood swings” but more “crabby AF due to lack of sleep”.

Magnesium Bisglycinate was recommended to take before going to sleep. A minimum of 10,000 mcg. This is supposed to slow your brain down a little so you can catch some Z’s. I do have this next to my bed and it seems to work right away. I don’t take it preventively but only as needed when my brain won’t stop. My main solution to the sleep deprivation is that I’m so exhausted after 4 sleepless nights that I will sleep straight through on the 5th.

The other killer are the night sweats and hot flashes: The DIY Sauna Experience. They’re difficult to describe until you actually experience them. I am considering donating all my heavy knits to anyone who wants them. The thought alone makes me break out in a sweat. Ironically I still get cold quickly which results in me bundling up underneath my blankets at night, only to end up buck naked under a corner of a sheet barely covering my feet a few hours later.

Cooling sleepwear is an option. I have tried this since in certain sleepover situations, nakedness may be slightly frowned upon. These are definitely a life saver. Look for viscose made from bamboo. I found a comfy set on Amazon by WiWi. My next investment will be bamboo sheets. I am optimistic this will assist in making night sweats more bearable. Anything synthetic has officially been banned from my life.

My beloved cup of coffee may be next on the banned list. The hot flash triggered by my morning cup of Joe is the daily mother of all hot flashes. Possible cure: Ice coffee. Since I’m not giving up caffeine. It isn’t just trendy; it’s functional.

I know I’m wordy but I’m not there yet! The “estrogen belly”. The midsection expansion that arrives like an uninvited guest and refuses to leave. Your metabolism decides to slow to a crawl while estrogen throws a going-away party in your abdomen. Fabulous.

Possible cure: Exercise, eat healthy. Sure, but let’s acknowledge that this isn’t about getting bikini-ready; it’s about feeling human again. Focus on strength training to boost metabolism. I have been told to use heavy weights. And eat fiber-rich foods to keep your body happy. It may be in my head but I feel like mushroom coffee is deflating me a bit too. Food deprivation is not an option in this scenario, just make sure your meals consists of lots of protein.

Bottom line: Perimenopause isn’t fun, but it is not going anywhere. Instead of chasing impossible fixes, focus on what makes you feel good, or at least slightly less annoyed. Whether it’s a cold brew in one hand and a fan in the other, or a new pair of stretchy jeans that hug you in all the right ways, find your version of “cures.”

And hey, when in doubt, just blame estrogen. It’s the least it can do after causing all this chaos. I owe you a follow up on magnesium, bamboo sheets and Estrovan. Meanwhile remember; we’re still hot, it just comes in flashes now!