Oh Poop!

Another taboo that I love to bring up is our daily bowel movements. In my family it is a well discussed topic…and why not…we all do have them.

Depending on your diet, age and daily activity regularity can mean any thing from going 3 times a day to going 3 times a week. At the risk of oversharing; I am definitely the first, my food to poop ratio is way off, I am surprised I have enough fuel left over in my body to function. It is also a no brainer that the fewer you go the harder “it” will get and it will be more difficult to get out. The digestion time of your food varies per individual and between men and women. Supposably it takes about 6 to 8 hours for food to pass through your digestive system….I beg to differ…Phew! I don’t think that is always the case but this comes straight from the experts…

We all know certain foods can expedite the process need be, varying from fiber to more fiber: beans, kiwis, pears, prunes. And a few I wasn’t familiar with; honey for example. It works by taking a tea spoon three times a day just like that or in your tea. I always knew coffee does the trick for me but it comes up on the list of constipation relief too. As do apples, raisins, and rhubarb…..But once again it all boils down to a balanced diet; lotsa veggies and water, and go easy on the processed food. Warm water on an empty stomach works like a charm too. Peppermint tea or anything with ginger is always good for your stomach. my magic tea will always be fennel tea; it works for any digestive and stomach issue form heart burn to cramps and everything in between.

Recently our posture on the commode has been a hot topic. The easiest way to explain the whole squatting technique on the toilet is that you are basically getting the kink out of the garden hose. Capisce? This way you can clear out the entire colon which is good for you. Plus squatting lowers the chance of hemmies. Therefore we can now purchase comfort height toilet bowls or a squatty potty! The squatty potty company’s revenue was estimated around $8 million last year, therefore one might assume they are on to something. Human beings are designed to squat not sit. In France I encountered a lot of squatting toilets where you plant your feet on the elevated blocks and you literally hang onto the handrail provided on the walls of the toilet stall and aim for the designated hole….this can create some splattering though. It seems more hygienic since we don’t all have our hiney on the same toilet seat but you definitely want to wash your hands afterwards. Speaking of the French bathroom manners; I never understand why bidets never became popular on this side of the pond though…

As mentioned before my family has no shame in their game when it comes to poop talk, although they will never actually use the word poop, we have come up with different more “appropriate” words. A plane ride can constipate you so therefore after arrival I will be asked if “I went yet”…cue the eye rolling of the teenage nieces. We were also taught that “everyone smells when they fart”, my father’s way of expressing that every one is created equal and you should not feel beneath anyone. Simple logic!